


The Merc And The Heartbroken

by HowlsMoon



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-04
Updated: 2018-10-04
Packaged: 2019-07-25 05:22:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16190948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HowlsMoon/pseuds/HowlsMoon
Summary: Deadpool decides to visit and break into his new neighbors apartment No plot development no character development just pure smut





	The Merc And The Heartbroken

Kayla recently had a bad breakup with her boyfriend Evan. He had been cheating on her and she couldn’t take it anymore. She moved to Canada to get a clean break and to start over new. She opened her new apartment door and walked inside with the last of her boxes.

As soon as she walked into her new apartment, there seemed to be a man sitting on a chair while eating pizza from a box which laid on top of her boxes. "Mmm..! Pepperoni~ Not great having them as nipples, but great when eating them~"

Kayla just dropped her box and gasped freaking out as she just stared at him. She saw he was wearing a red and black suit with a mask on his face. She was about to run away. She didn’t know why that man was in her new place but she wasn’t gonna stick around to find out why.

Deadpool threw his Katana right next to her head and then stated. "WOAHHHH! Ease up! You are going to leave a man high and dry after he broke into your apartment and brought pizza!? So not cool!" He pouted while munching on the pizza again since the bottom portion of his mask was risen.

Kayla at this point was scared and terrified she began to scream and ran out of there. He just threw a freakin katana right at her it could’ve caused her to get injured or worse. She was about to get in her car fidgeting with the keys trying to turn her car on with them.

Deadpool was immediately behind her as if he were to have just teleported. "Are you really not going to have a slice of pizza? I have been waiting for you all day to finish with those boxes and you just try to run! Was it the Katana? Was that too imposing?"

Kayla looked around behind her and gasped.  
“Pl-please g-go away! Wh-what do you want from m-me?! I just wanna move into my new place not have a psychotic guy in my place throwing swords at me for god’s sake!” she sighed trying to get out of her car.  
“Wh-why me anyway?” she asked with her arms crossed.

"Psychotic!? I just wanted to great a new neighbor by saying Hi and getting you pizza! Why are you so scared!? I'm Deadpool! Y'know.. Totally badass, family friendly Anti-Hero! WHo is trying to be an X-Man for Colossal."

Kayla just stared at his masked face for a second then bursted into laughter. She held onto herself as she tried to calm herself down and she sighed.  
“My name’s Kayla and it’s nice to meet you I guess,” she said chuckling and smiling.

He looked over and then took off the tape. "Uhm.. So.. You didn't like his face that much, huh?" He laughed slightly and then said. "Wade Wilson, but you can call me your Daddy." He laughed and then said. "N-No! That was bad. My bad!"

Kayla tilted her head to the side and she just looked at him weirdly. She was confused by what he just said to her.  
"Uh ok Wade......," she said as she then looked away from him and walked back into her apartment and took a slice of pizza.

He followed her and then said. "So, why'd you move here? Where are you from? What is your job? Why did you move here? Oh.. I already asked that one.. Anyway! I am interested, plus.. You did take one of my pizza slices so.. You have to answer.."

Kayla looked over at him sat down and finished the pizza.  
"I'm from the U.S. I don't know yet and I moved here to get away from everything after my ex cheated on me! Anything else you wanna know about me Sherlock Holmes?!"

"Sherlock Holmes!? How dare you!? I do not look like Benedict Cumforface or Stephen Strange! Oh.. If you're wondering.. Yeah.. Same people." He smirked and continued to look at her with a smirk in his mask.

Kayla sighed and said whatever and asked him if he could please go now. She just wanted to take a nap after the exhausting day she had with everything that went on.  
"Nice to meet you now can you please go?"

"Nah.. I can just sleep with you! Don't worry! I don't snore! Just kidding.. I only when I want to be annoying. Well.. Good Night!" He smirked and took her into the bedroom to fall asleep next to her.

No way in hell was she gonna sleep next to a psycho and a stranger to boot. She sighed and walked out to her living room and she fell asleep on her chair.

He sighed and decided to fall asleep on her lap after she completely fell asleep. He was trying to make a friend, but he was so use to being humorous and annoying.

The next morning Kayla opened her eyes and she yawned. She squeaked when she saw his head was on her lap! She blushed a deep shade of crimson.

He was currently holding his pistol in his hands, but had his face nuzzled deep into her lap. If she noticed, it was his actual face instead of his mask, so.. She could see all of the deformed skin and features.

Kayla gasped and couldn't help but moan as he fidgeted on her lap. He looked so different but she didn't judge based off of appearances. Now she knew why he wore a mask.

He then woke up when he heard the sound of a moan and then suddenly yelled out. "I PROMISE I CLOSED ALL OF MY PORN BEFORE GOING TO BED, SENORITA-.. Oh.."

"Uh wh-what're you doing on my lap?! Hell why are you still even here?! You're too close and you're so forwards!" Kayla said blushing.

"I-I I told you that I was going to lt with you! W-What do you mean!?" He cleared his throat and gulped. "It's n-not my fault! I wasn't forwar-.." He then gasped. "WHERE IS MY MASK!?"

"You must've left it in my bedroom and you are being way too forwards and way too close for my liking! I'm sorry but my heart is broken right now and I'm not ready for another guy yet!" Kayla cried as tears leaked down her eyes.

He wiped her tears and then said. "Is that what you think I am!? I buy you and me some pizza and try to introduce you to your apartment and you think I am using you for dating!? How dare you!?" He hoy up and marched into her room angrily.

Kayla sighed. Without explaining to him that it was just a misunderstanding and he was wrong she went into her bathroom locked the door got naked and went to take a shower.

Deadpool walked out of the room with his mask and knocked on the door. "Hey, Roomie! I am staying here with you! Thank you for letting me stay!" He smirked and began setting his guns and clothes down.

Kayla didn't hear him at all because the water was running and she was washing her hair and her body and then rinsed off her hair and her body getting clean.

He didn't hear her say anything so.. He took it was thought she let him, so.. He put his clothes and hers into the drawers and walked over to the door to knock on it to ask her some questions.

Kayla got out of the shower and wrapped her body in a towel and unlocked the door opening it and she blushed beet red telling him to get out.

He blinked and then walked in and then shut the door behind him. "Alright! So roomie! What would you like to eat? I might burn the apartment down, but I can try to cook!" He smiled in the mask and basically showcased that he didn't care about privacy.

"B-but........... I never said you could stay! And I'm a girl and I'm not decent right now! I'm naked and wet!" Kayla said not flirting with him at all. She was mad now and she tried to get him out.

He gasped. "I asked you and you never said anything so I took it as a yes! I already moved in with you! AND YOU ARE!? I got the naked part, but you're wet too!?"

"Naughty naughty, Kayla!"

Kayla was getting so stressed out and frazzled that her towel fell down to a pool by her feet. She was still blushing. She never met a guy like this before.  
"I just took a shower! Please!"

He widened his eyes and then saw her naked. "U-Uhm.. Oh.. You meant that n-naked and wet.. U-Uhm.. Y-Your body is nice, but.. Y-You never answered what you'd like for dinner? C-Chimichangas?"

Kayla sighed and said that it was breakfast time not dinner and in her rage confusion and being stressed out she tripped and fell right on top of him by accident with her naked body.

He gasped adne immediately hugged her to press her naked body against his. "R-Roomie! You are awfully close to me! You are naked, wet and moist so.. What are you trying to imply!?"

Kayla squeaked and gasped when she felt him pull her against him. Her cheeks stained cherry red and she said nothing.  
"I tripped and fell on you by accident!"

"Y-Yeah! So did your towel and so did your flirtatious words and moan when I was asleep on you! Face it! You've wanted to take a shower with me! You are also blushing beyond madly!"

"No not at all! All of those things were just a coincidence or by accident! Please can I get off of you now?!" Kayla said embarrassed shy nervous and she was just a mess.

"Wait! So you don't want to see me naked and see how my body is!?" He frowned in the mask, still holding his naked body to her while trying to hide that his 'friend' was getting erect.

"I'm just sensitive that's all and yes! Maybe!" Kayla moaned again as she felt something poke her in between her inner thighs. She tried to get up.

He let go of her and then said. "I-I.. D-Don't look at my crotch.. I-If you do, I'll know that you've been-.. YOU DO WANT TO SEE MY BODY!?" He widened his eyes and for sure was intrigued now.

Kayla closed her eyes blushing her cheeks tinted pink as she looked away from him and nodded. She tried to dry herself off.

Wade watched her dry herself off and then said. "Hm.. Y'know.. If you just admit that you want to see me, I can take off my suit and take another shower with you, Roomie~"

"B-but I already said twice I wanna see your sexy hot body!" Kayla blurted out and she tried walking past him out of the bathroom.

He smirked and then held her arm. "Hmm.. Come back, Kayla~ You just said it for a third time.. Don't go just yet.." He was obviously going to reveal himself.

Kayla turned to look back into his pupiless masked eyes and wanting to see all of him and what he looked like underneath all that red and black tight spandex.

He took off his mask and then slowly began to take off his shirt, revealing that he did have a hot body, but all of his skin was deformed. That was the only issue that he had.

Kayla instantly felt bad and felt sorry for him. She hugged him tightly to her and wept and cried for him feeling really bad she yelled at him a lot. She sobbed harder.

He held her and then rose a brow. "I didn't know that my skin was that hideous.. I-.. I thought you wanted to see my nakedness, but.. It seems to make you cry so.. I'll put it away.."

Kayla shook her head no and stopped him.  
"No you're misunderstanding again! I'm crying because I feel sorry and bad for you and I feel bad that all I've done is yell at you!" she sobbed.

He wiped her tears and then took off his suit, revealing that his underwear actually had a HUGE bulge inside of them. "Well.. Quit yelling at me then, Roomie."

Kayla wiped the rest of her tears and she nodded smiling down at him. She was not ready yet but damn she wanted him badly.

He then smirked and kissed her cheek. "I know that you aren't ready.. But.. Behold him~ His skin be deformed.. But he definitely isn't~" He soon pulled off his underwear to reveal that he was actually HUGE down there, especially since she turned him on and is naked in front of him.

Kayla gasped and really looked at how big he was and she squeaked blushing again. She ran to her bedroom and told him to follow her onto her bed where they could romp.


End file.
